The article Cosmopolitan published a couple weeks ago has been circulating the plus size blogosphere with force. Many gals have taken to answering the questions themselves, and I want to follow suit. I know I’m younger that most of the ladies that have done it, but I thought my readers would be interested in knowing the story behind my body and how I feel about it. So let’s get right into it!
How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?
I really don’t like it. I understand that each person has internal struggles with their body image, but it still gets to me. I’m always thinking, if they see themselves as fat, then what do they think of me? I just try to surround myself with people that don’t make these comments. If they do, I tell them to embrace their fluff and move on. People know me for being a jokester, so they’ll laugh at me and do just that, move on. Pretty effective, and keeps everyone in good spirits at least for a little while.
How has your body image changed since high school? College?
Ever since being on my own at college, I’ve embraced my personal style, and my body image has greatly improved. With it, my mental health and sociability have gotten better. People will love me despite my size, and if I’m confident and happy, people around me will be as well.
However, it’s obviously an on going battle. I still have really bad days both with my body and my head. I don’t think that can ever go away for anybody. It’s getting better, though, and that’s all I can hope for.
Have you tried dieting? What happened?
Actually, not really. I never stuck to anything for more than like 2 days. I just love food too much. And my dad’s an amazing Italian chef; how am I supposed to pass that up? At school I have more well-rounded options, and I definitely make a conscious decision to eat healthier, but that’s about living a healthy life, not about losing weight.
Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
There’s a pretty good possibility. Thyroid problems are prevalent on my mom’s side, and most women on my dad’s side are big and strong. I come from big, beautiful Italian women, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?
Like I said, I’ve been making sure I make healthy choices. However, I love rich and fried foods, and you can’t get me to give them up. With colorguard I’m pretty active, but I could probably stand to make more time for the gym. But that just really doesn’t appeal to me, and I’d rather be plump and happy rather than thin and stressed.
Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you’re at? Have they always been?
They never seemed to have a problem. Like previously mentioned, I come from two families of strong Italian women who appreciate food. It’s kind of expected. I think they care more that I’m healthy and happy.
How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?
I just wish I knew how it felt to walk into a store, see something I like, pick out my size, and buy it. That just doesn’t exist for girls of my size. I have to search online for hours just to find something cute in my size that I can afford. Yesterday I went to Target and was incredibly annoyed with the fact that there were practically no 2x’s in stock. It’s frustrating to have a personal style that no one seems to make clothes for. And if you’re a fat girl that likes trendy/edgy clothing? Well then you’re completely shit out of luck because that just doesn’t exist in our size.
Also… one size fits all sweaters and leggings?! Yeah, no.
Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?
You see a fat guy lounging with no shirt on at the beach? No problem! You see a fat girl lounging in a two piece at the beach? Ew how dare she! I don’t feel like getting into this. It’s just disgusting how judgemental people can be.
Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?
People think we’re lazy, unattractive, unsuccessful, that we lack self control… The list goes on and on. I know plenty of girls that are sexy and successful all while rocking their curves. I have plenty of friends, and I’m doing extremely well both in and out of school. Every person is different. No one else dictates how I live my life. Stereotypes practically exist to be broken.
Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?
I say it’s better to just mind your own business.
What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?
Back in middle school I was called every name in the book. In high school it was never really directly said to me; it was more snickering behind my back as I walked past a table. However, it never really got to me. Sure on bad body days they echo in my head, but overall, I couldn’t care less about those people who have nothing else better to do than call a girl out on something she sees everyday in the mirror.
What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?
Since about senior year of high school, I’ve been getting a fair share of compliments. When I wear a nice outfit or do my hair pretty or take time to do my makeup, there’s always a handful of people who comment on it. I’ve surrounded myself with people who genuinely care about me and think highly of me. It does wonders for one’s self esteem.
Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?
Actually no. I have a lot of friends, and they all vary greatly in body types and sizes. I don’t care about someone’s appearance. I care about whether or not they’re an asshole.
How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?
I don’t have a sex life as of yet. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with my weight. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’ve never been in an intimate situation. This really doesn’t bother me though. I like being independent and not having to worry directly about anyone other than myself.
When you’ve been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
It might. I’m sure there have been people that have been attracted to my personality, but my appearance held them back. I’m not really looking for a relationship though, so I can’t say I’ve been directly rejected recently. There was an ongoing… something or other… with someone, and I think my appearance made him uncomfortable. Sucks for him, I’m an amazing gal.
Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women?
Not really? A guy likes what he likes I guess. Nothing wrong with that. Just so he treats me well and doesn’t objectify me. You wouldn’t judge a guy for dating only skinny girls, so why would it be different for fat girls? Each person is different, and choosing to be in a relationship with someone goes past their physical characteristics.
Do you feel weird if he’s only dated slimmer women before you?
Nope. Obviously I’m fabulous enough to have broken their streak. I take that as a compliment!
So that’s it! This did get a little TMI, but I have nothing to hide. This is my fat life and I’m embracing it!